chadash naca

meaning new journeys in Hebrew. It is the tattoo that I have on my foot. Chadash means to be new/renewed and naca is the word used in the old testament the most explaining all the times the Israelites were moving to follow the Lord. it signifies the journey they took in finding "home".

Those two words- new journeys have two different meanings to me. the first being that literally at this moment i am going on a journey..quitting my job and traveling around europe only to return broke and without a job BUT no matter where i'm at in life, that God is with me, guiding my footsteps (hence the tat on the foot). The second meaning is just the reminder that no matter where im at in my faith...that God is there, still loving me and embracing me.

Today another journey begins. Today was my last day of work. Not gonna lie it all seems so surreal. I can't tell if i've processed it all or if i've processed nothing at all. do you ever think that your brain is a separate part of you?? well thats where im at.

can i just be the one to say that going away parties are awkward. what am i supposed to say and do during these? My coworkers are awesome and had a going away lunch and the whole time i felt like i needed to do something because it felt weird being the center of attention. now...obviously many of you know me and that i am outgoing and center of attention BUT i think i like attention on my OWN TERMS:) Not forced ones. We then had a second going away party for the clients to come and say goodbye...and yes for most of them it was more about the sugar we were giving away BUT nonetheless, it was still awkward but also amazing. for a brief moment I was able to get outside of my analytical head that was awkwarded (yup new word) out and able to see the clients that i've been working with for the past 3 years and truly feel so much love for them and vice versa.

At one of my contemplative moments one of my clients grabbed both of my hands and just said "you are precious." Those very words- you are precious...mean so much. I couldn't help but grab her hands and repeat the very same words back to her because she too was precious. as i sit and think about that moment, i cant help but feel the emotion in my chest...it meant so much. you are precious. you are precious. the word precious reminds me of the soul, of really seeing a person for who they really are. Looking past the parts of them that may annoy the hell out of you but to be able to get to the root of who they are..their soul. their pure, loving soul. you are precious.

so, as this chapter ends another begins.

chadash naca my precious friends.