the best disaster aka getting stranded in north dakota

story. i never really thought about what makes a story...."a story" until i left Seattle with my best friend to drive my car and whats left of what i own to Michigan- drivin 2100 miles, across 9 states, in rain, sleet, hail, and snow and sitting in a car for over 35 hours.  i left the place ive been living the past 4 years, the place that ive come to associate as home. saying goodbye to wonderful friends and a beautiful city that i've come to love over a period of time. as i drove away i felt denial and uncertainty because I had no idea what my future held and was trying to hold on to hope that maybe in a year I would be back.

during our trip we read the book "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" by Donald Miller. He talks about how the elements of a great story can help us understand the elements of a great life.  I'm not going to explain the book because well, you can read and thats Don's job, not mine. But what i want to say is that in reading this book during a long and what should have been disastrous trip I was given new eyes that were able to take in everything differently.

the past 4 months ive been living in the promise that God provides. many of you have probably read or heard me talk about how I am relying on the Lord, trusting that he will provide.  but on this trip i really encountered what it meant to trust God and have an attitude that reflects it. on Friday afternoon in Medora North Dakota my car, Lucy Lu, broke down.  It was a crazy moment when i woke up from my nap smelling a weird smell and having a feeling that something was about to happen that would deeply get in the way of me and lena getting home. there were lights that flashed up on my dashboard that i've never seen lit up before. before i knew it, im checking the manual and reading that if these certain lights come on, get off the road immediately. well, we are in north dakota...and if you've ever been there you know there isn't much around. we saw a sign for a town and got off the exit keeping our fingers crossed that we would make it to the town. mind you, we just rode through hail and snow and rain and about 2 hours before had just purchased new windshield wipers because one of them decided to fly off during the amazing hail we were having. So we roll into a convenience store in Medora praying and hoping that whatever was wrong with my car would be a quick fix like my windshield wipers.

it was not a quick fix. my car got towed 40 plus miles because the nearest car repair shop was that many miles away.  It was still raining/snowing as we rode with Paul, the man towing my car.  Paul was a gentle spirit and kind and before you know we are all talking about my trip to Europe, Labri, and God. It was a light hearted conversation on faith and then we started talking about his daughter and wife the dynamics of their relationship.  The car ride was actually quite enjoyable. I didnt want to think about the fact that our relationship was based on the fact that my car was not working.  But i was grateful for this man and his joy and spirit.  He drops us off at the car repair shop and ends up not charging us the full rate because we were such kind girls. answer # 1 to prayer.

as my car is getting looked at lena and i sit in the waiting room discussing how the car will probably be fine and that we have lost a few hours but will get on the road soon.  i would start to think about "what if my car won't work" but we were both sure it would be and in my mind i was trusting God would make it an easy fix. there is no way he would leave me stranded in this small town.

well, when the car repairman came in and sat down, i knew we were about to hear some bad news. I wish i could say i handled the next moments with grace and style but instead i handled them with fear and anxiety. I was told that my car was in a bad shape and that i needed a new motor....which wasn't going to happen because lucy was not worth that much money.  the man apologized and advised we figure out an alternate plan.  An alternate plan? I had no alternate plan! what does a plan B even look like in this situation? Everything I own is in my car and I am flying out of Chicago on Wednesday to leave for Labri.  So here i am, told that my car is not drivable and the car repair place was closing, and on top of that it was snowing...A LOT. We were stranded in this small town. The dealership attached to the service center was open until 7pm and they told us we could use their computer and phone if it would help us with making our next steps. 1.5 hours. we had 1.5 hours to figure out how we were going to get home, how i was going to transport all the stuff in my car, and we had to figure out where we would be staying.

i got online and felt overwhelmed. i kept asking God "am i not supposed to go to Labri? I thought you wanted me there. Why is this happening to me? I wanted to trust you and follow you but I have no idea what im going to do". I felt out of control internally. Outwardly i just kept saying i didnt know what to do. the salesmen at the dealership came over and heard our story and started asking us questions about our trip and started brainstorming with us what our options were.

i started to look at flights and rental cars and everything i looked at involved many dollar signs and a deep sense of anxiety came over me "how was i going to pay for all of this? I 've already paid so much for my car in the past 2 hours and now its not even going to work!".  I had to take a lot of deep breaths for this one. I kept asking God what the heck was going on. i was frustrated because i thought trusting him meant he'd provide and how was he providing by having my car breakdown and leaving me and lena stranded in snowy north dakota. we sat there for 45 minutes brainstorming and eventually found light in this darkness. we found a rental car in bismarck that would let us take the car one way to Chicago. i booked it. answer # 2  (later on i found out that I booked the last available car that they had for the next week!) The catch- we were in dickinson and the rental car was in bismarck- a 100 mile gap!  at this point i would pay anyone to drive us to bismarck. I said this outloud to the salesman and then this is when my story of trust really begins. The salesman said we could use one of their drivers and one of their cars and the only thing we would have to pay for is gas and paying the driver. they wouldn't charge us for the car or mileage. answer # 3

so now we have a way to get home but we still had the night to think about. the salesmen called hotels for us and there was only 1 room and it was a 100 dollars. my fear came up again....100 dollars....i do not have the money for any of this. the idea of spending all this money kept paralyzing me. money worries became my focus. i kept adding up all the expenses in my head and made me dizzy thinking about it. then, out of no where, i half jokingly said "well can we just sleep here, in the dealership?" after traveling around europe and sleeping in random places i honestly could care less where i sleep....couch, floor, bed, rock, whatever...its sleep and i just couldnt afford to pay for it. the next thing that happened i will honestly never forget. the general manager said we could sleep in the camper that was in the dealership. i wish i could explain the wave of relief and joy and laughter that came over me. i couldnt believe all the things these salesmen were doing for us. they were letting 2  girls they just met sleep inside their dealership, and use their car and driver to take them 100 miles to bismarck.

i jumped at the offer and said we would love to stay there (answer #5)  and thanked them endlessly for the hospitality towards us. one of the workers went home and got us blankets and pillows and the general manager told us he would leave his office open and we were welcome to drink any of the soda's in his fridge.

so lena and i got locked inside a car dealership and slept in a camper. even as i type this i cannot believe how much God provided. my car is gone...it is in a salvage yard but as i think about it, it was never my car to begin with. God provided my car, God has provided everything in my life.  When i said i wanted to trust God, i think i assumed that trusting him meant i wouldnt have any issues, especially financially and i assumed everything would just work out. but thats not what God says. he will provide but he never says how or when or why or in what manner. I lost my car on this trip, but i gained much more. i saw a group of people take in and care for 2 strangers with such love and care. i saw God provide in every little way.

before lucy broke down Lena and i talked about what we wanted our stories to be, how we wanted our lives to be different. we talked about how we wanted to trust the Lord and wanted to go out and live our lives with purpose, passion, and risk. we didnt want fear to stop us from living.  we talked about specific things but we both agreed that its easy to get stuck in a rut and how easily we forget that there is a much bigger story going on around us.  my story is one in a much larger story. im a tree in a forest. some trees live longer, some shorter, some have richer color, others are more dull, but regardless each tree is important and each tree makes up the forest. you need all the individual trees to make up the forest. during all of this i kept thinking about me and my car and my needs and what i did and didnt have. but really, there were so many other people involved in this story too. many stories collided during all of this. it wasnt just mine involved. the stories of salesmen were intertwined with mine. i learned to receive, i learned that trusting God means truly trusting him, no matter what the situation may look like, no matter how grim, to trust him. and the people that surrounded us, they were able to give. they were able to truly take care of their neighbor. i dont think words can describe how beautiful this picture is to me.  By the end of the night I had peace because God was literally taking care of his 2 daughters. He protected us and kept us safe and every need we had was taken care of.  my life, my story, had been changed and i am thankful. thankful for a "disaster".

i lost a car but i gained a glimpse of a story that is much bigger than me but includes and needs me to be a part of it.  the bigger story requires all of us...will we be an active participant, one that is honest and real about our needs and forthcoming with our love and hospitality or will we sit back and be cynical about what happens to us and not take a moment to look around and see all the other stories that are dependent upon us. every tree is needed to make the forest seen. every person is needed to make God's story fully known. we all play a part.

maybe i make sense and honestly maybe i dont. but the message i want you to hear is this:
- if you are going to get stranded anywhere, do it in north dakota
- if you need a car buy it from dan porter motors in dickinson

and that

-i am so thankful for my story, for my beautiful disaster....i wouldnt change it